Healthcare Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'He's resting comfortably.'

'Are you sure this is the way to take blood pressure?'

I think the surgery went well. I'll know more when I hear from the billing department.

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

The Left One As You Look At It.

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"We WANT you to take power over your work...And THIS is how we want you to do it!"

'Guidelines say we have to have five nurses on the ward. This is Sandra, also known as Claire, Faith, Jasmine and Nicolette.'

'Looks like your medical insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."

'Give it to me straight, Doc - unless a lie would be better.'

'When we talk about a 'needs' led service. The 'NEED' is to stay in budget!'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'What does Perkemup do? What would like it to do?'

Someone should be with you later, they're all on a patient care course.'

"Hello, I'm Dr. Jones...assisting me today will be the hospital's CFO, Mr. Peters."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'British Head Lice Foundation' 'Internit'

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'

'I'll be removing your appendix and Dr. Otto will assist in removing a portion of your disposable income.'

'I'm sorry, dear. I just promised to have and to hold you. Not untangle you.'

'Do you still have my rectal thermometer?'

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

What the patient got... What the patient wanted... What the nurse told the patient to expect... What insurance covered... What the intern charted... What the patient needed.

"Our hospital is dedicated to cost transparency for our patients. I think you'll find our prices are so transparent you can't even see them."

'I'm sorry.. but we need the bed..'

GP Pint Pot - Increased opening hours/health mot's/5% NHS Services.

Computer tomography four legs

"I can't tell yet whether you'll recover. I'll have to see your private patient's insurance policy first."

'We stopped the bleeding, but he'll continue to hemorrhage money for several months.'

Coronary Inn Hospital

"I think she's one of the agency workers..."