Healthcare Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'He's resting comfortably.'

'Are you sure this is the way to take blood pressure?'

I think the surgery went well. I'll know more when I hear from the billing department.

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

The Left One As You Look At It.

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"We WANT you to take power over your work...And THIS is how we want you to do it!"

'Guidelines say we have to have five nurses on the ward. This is Sandra, also known as Claire, Faith, Jasmine and Nicolette.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Looks like your medical insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'

"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."

'When we talk about a 'needs' led service. The 'NEED' is to stay in budget!'

'Give it to me straight, Doc - unless a lie would be better.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'What does Perkemup do? What would like it to do?'

"Hello, I'm Dr. Jones...assisting me today will be the hospital's CFO, Mr. Peters."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

Someone should be with you later, they're all on a patient care course.'

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'

'British Head Lice Foundation' 'Internit'

'I'm sorry, dear. I just promised to have and to hold you. Not untangle you.'

'I'll be removing your appendix and Dr. Otto will assist in removing a portion of your disposable income.'

Computer tomography four legs

What the patient got... What the patient wanted... What the nurse told the patient to expect... What insurance covered... What the intern charted... What the patient needed.

"Our hospital is dedicated to cost transparency for our patients. I think you'll find our prices are so transparent you can't even see them."

GP Pint Pot - Increased opening hours/health mot's/5% NHS Services.

'I'm sorry.. but we need the bed..'

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

"All of the tests will determine if you can afford any of them."

'Heavy sedatines for Mr Baines. His cheerful disposition is giving me a headache.'

'The nurse will return your pants as soon as you pay your bill.'

"The doctor will see you now - Here's your medical dictionary."

"I'll get you an emesis basin, paper or plastic?"