Healthcare Humor Lovers Gifts

'Wake up! You've got to take a new disability test...'

Medical and Window Treatments

"You have the right to die with dignity, but, until then, anything goes."

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"I stand corrected."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Snap out of it.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'You need some stress.'