Healthcare Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"We can't pull the plug. We're all still on her insurance."

All New Prescriptions Require FBI Approval.

'Elizabeth, dangit, woman you are testing my patients.'

"I want you to pay your bill, but I refuse to do any arm twisting."

'Snap out of it.'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"...but your medical insurance, Miss Whitlow, runs only to a placebo"

MRI and CAT Scans costing a lot.

'So, Mr Jones, I'm going to put you on a waiting list to go onto the waiting list.'

"Please, give me your insurance card."

"Dr. Jenkins was too cheap to buy a state-of-the-art EHR system so he bought this at a public library auction instead."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"I stand corrected."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'