Healthcare Humor Lover Gifts

GP pay award wheel.

'I'm afraid there's not much I can do for you now. You should've come in sooner, before you got sick.'

'The monitors all show that you're dead... but to be sure, we'll need to run some more tests.'

'You've got it. Don't flaunt it. You'll spread it.'

'Your infrastructure needs work.'

"God, I hate needles!"

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

Flying Doctor Scanner

'It's bad enough that you dropped your end of the stretcher, but did you have to yell 'BOMBS AWAY'?'

'The test results are in. We suggest you go home and discuss the treatment options with you accountant.'

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

'There is no cure but the good news is we have some great support groups.'

Colonoscopy.

Please take a number and prepare for and incredibly tedious wait.

'We managed to get to the Tennis Elbow before it spread to your balls!'

"I don't know what this medication does...but the commercials for it are really cool!"

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'To say that we didn't vet this appraisal scheme properly is sheer poppycock...why I had my grandaughter look at it and she said it was very nice!'

'The bad news about your bacteria infection is that you are now part of the food chain.'

Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

45% of GPs Ignore Nice Hypertension Guide.

"It's the only way we could get the vacination programme to pay..."

NHS Confederation suggests that patients be allowed to register with A&E departments..."Can someone help me I've got a bit of a cough!"

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Unmitigated Gall! What kind of diagnosis is that?'

Death Waits Behind the Doctor.

'This won't hurt a bit...'

'You need some stress.'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

The West London clinic for fashionable diseases

'It hurts when I smile.'

"Look, you've made him hurt his fist..."