Quirky Medical Enthusiast Gifts

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Plastic Surgery

'Just relax, we'll have that tune out of your head in no time.'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

Quick! 5-second rule!

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

Preserved head and mobile phone.

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Sewing for Dummies.

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

Dr. Potato Head

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."