Quirky Medicine Enthusiast Gifts

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

A Mom and Pop Operation

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

Quick! 5-second rule!

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

Plastic Surgery

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Sewing for Dummies.

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

Dr. Potato Head

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

Acupuncture

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."