Quirky Medicine Lovers Gifts

Acupuncture

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

Plastic Surgery

'You're not my usual doctor.'

Multitasking: Psychiatry and Podiatry.

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Take one three times a day after meals."

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Sewing for Dummies.

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

Dr. Potato Head

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

"We run an old fashioned practice here, Mrs Gledhill."

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'