Quirky Medic Gifts

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

A Mom and Pop Operation

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'You're not my usual doctor.'

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

"I'm just messing with you."

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

Sewing for Dummies.

"I spy something red."