Quirky Medic Gifts

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

"I'm just messing with you."

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

I think it's candy for old people. PEZ. MEDZ.

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

Sewing for Dummies.