Quirky Doctor Gifts

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."

Doctors playing a game while performing surgery

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

A Mom and Pop Operation

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Preserved head and mobile phone.

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"It's cooties."

Plastic Surgery

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'You're not my usual doctor.'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

Sewing for Dummies.

"I was going to give him accupunture, but on second thoughts..."

Dr. Potato Head