Quirky Surgeon Gifts

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Preserved head and mobile phone.

Plastic Surgery

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'It's a routine operation.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'You're not my usual doctor.'

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

'Okaaay... Now, the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...'

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

Sewing for Dummies.

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

Operating Room Table Scraps

Surgical mittens, an idea whose time has not come.

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."