Quirky Surgery Humor Gifts

"The white carpet in here was a mistake."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"Did you get some work done?"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"Pull my finger."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

Surgeon using hover mower