Quirky Surgery Humor Pillows

"The white carpet in here was a mistake."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

"It was a botched surgery."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"Did you get some work done?"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"Pull my finger."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

Surgeon using hover mower