Loves Surgical Humor Pillows

'Perhaps I was a bit TOO graphic in explaining the surgical procedure.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"I have a complaint about my bill."

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

Surgeon using hover mower

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

"Surgeons. Too good to sort their recyclables?"

"People make a fuss about qualifications but with a bit of common sense anyone can do what these medical types do!"