Surgical Humorist Pillows

"OK, the old ones in my right hand..."

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Now, I know I came in here for something!'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Malpractice? No -it's not our dog.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'Hear that, Daniels, he just said 'malarky'. See if you can get him to say 'sassafras' ha ha ha.'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

A Surgeon's Weights

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

Surgeon using hover mower

"I love spring days when we get to work outdoors."

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

"Hey. When we he wakes up, how 'bout I talk but you make the faces."

'It was a trememdous piece of surgery!...'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Vlad the Inhaler

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'