Surgical Mishap Humorist Pillows

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"Did you get some work done?"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

'Golf War Syndrome.'