Surgical Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Normally, I make a tiny incision just below the naval. But I saw a spider."

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

'Long shift?'

"Gross."

'Time for your pills.'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

Current location

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"Darn it, lost another swab."

Mobile Operations Stand.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'