Cosmetic Surgery Humor Pillows

'Look at her - flat broke soon to be flat rich!'

'I need my PPI money to pay for my PIP's.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"Did you get some work done?"

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

Surgeon using hover mower

"Pull my finger."

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'