Cosmetic Surgery Jokers Pillows

"Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and Botox bubble."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

Quick! 5-second rule!

Plastic surgery is a scream.

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

Pain free dentistry for those who pay up front.

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

Elephant nose jobs

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

Chicken Breast Implants

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

Somebody had a face-lift.

'Stick...'

'Looks like Helen had some work done.'

"I'll bet you guys have great technology, I bet you could do great boob jobs!"

'The anesthesiologist called sick. It is my duty to inform you that you will feel a little bit of pain during the appendectomy.'

'I owe my creation to Dr. Frankenstein. But my botox, nose job and scar removal are the work of my plastic surgeon, Dr. Guida.'

'Not hard to see who had the cheaper plastic surgery, is it!'

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

'I have a complaint about my bill.'

"Believe it or not, but that's me before I had plastic surgery!"

Nose jobs done cheap.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, I will reveal the secret of my success."

"He's got his Daddy's nose."

'I understand you've had some trouble with your breast implants.'