Cosmetic Procedure Humor Fan Pillows

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"Good?"

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'I can't turn it off.'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

'BOTOX...QUICK!

'Silicone implant ward.'

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

Elephant to elephant with 'nose job.' 'Wait, don't tell me. Something's different.'

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"