Cosmetic Procedure Humor Fan Pillows

Somebody had a face-lift.

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"Good?"

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'I can't turn it off.'

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Botox...' - pumpkin faces

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

'BOTOX...QUICK!

Elephant nose jobs

'Silicone implant ward.'

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'

Elephant to elephant with 'nose job.' 'Wait, don't tell me. Something's different.'