Surgical Humor Fans Pillows

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"Good?"

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

'I can't turn it off.'

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'