Surgical Jokester Pillows

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'Malpractice? No - it's not our dog.'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'