Skin Care Jokester Pillows

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Oh, great... Big date tonight and I've got a zit on my nose.'

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"

"I wasn't dead yet."

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

'Honest, I'm not a toad - I'm a frog with a skin condition.'

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

'Here! I saved his anal sacs for you.'

'BOTOX...QUICK!

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and Botox bubble."

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

Lady Macbeth in the morning

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

"I envy you. How do you stay so slimy?"

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Either she's had a lot of Botox, or her face is buffering."

"And now ladies and gentlemen, I will reveal the secret of my success."

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

'It's a pimple alright. And it looks like it's ready to pop.'

'Oh, goodie! — it's about time somebody invented a flea collar!'

Senior tennis player having a tennis-oriented vision check-up.

'How did you happen to dip my bowling ball in regaine!!'