Skincare Satirist Pillows

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Lady Macbeth in the morning

"Either she's had a lot of Botox, or her face is buffering."

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

The return of Miss Subways

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

"This time lick my entire body."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

'I think I'm starting to develop crow's feet, Lance. What should I do?'

'BOTOX...QUICK!

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'Don't worry about those craters. Photoshop can take care of them."

"I envy you. How do you stay so slimy?"

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

Arthur maintains a sense of equanimity not matter what the world situation. Mind you, the Botox helps.

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

Why are you upset? What did I do? You washed you face with body soap. Uh oh. Is that bad? Will it hurt me? Will I start to get body hair on my face? Will I grow a limb from my nostrils? Will I turn suddenly sarcastic? Boyfriend digging big hole.

Cut & blow dry.

"Well - you DID say you needed your hair cutting really badly . . !"