Skin Care Comedian Pillows

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

'Honest, I'm not a toad - I'm a frog with a skin condition.'

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

"I just got the Google Earth app. I didn't know you had a bald spot."

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

Centurion in a Shower

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Saloon Selectives

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

'Silicone implant ward.'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

Botox secretary.

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

Lady Macbeth in the morning

Shampoo for Medusa's scaley and slimey hair.

"I feel bad. My stomach hurts. I'm pretty sure it was something I didn't eat."

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

"My hair always looks awful in the winter."

"Will these hooves ever dry?"

Arthur maintains a sense of equanimity not matter what the world situation. Mind you, the Botox helps.

"I envy you. How do you stay so slimy?"

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Either she's had a lot of Botox, or her face is buffering."