Skincare Jokester Pillows

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Builders fashion range

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

Store sells too short t-shirts.

Suits you Sir!

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'Oh great, we break down in the middle of nowhere and the only spare tyre we have is the one around your waist!'

'Can't believe they didn't have your size.'

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

Lady Macbeth in the morning

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

'Good grief-it's Doris'