Surgical Humor Lover Gifts

'Your plastic surgery went great...you look terrific!'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

Hospital Cleaning.

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"Open mike night"

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

Bowtox.

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

"All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean."