Laughing Surgeon Gifts

Operating Room Table Scraps

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Improvised Dentistry.

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Medical Cabinet

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'It's a routine operation.'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

Surgeon using hover mower

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

"Everytime he sticks his finger down his throat, he tells a joke."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"People make a fuss about qualifications but with a bit of common sense anyone can do what these medical types do!"

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

'Okaaay... Now, the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...'

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.