Laughing Medic Gifts

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Happy Birthday to you.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Time for your pills.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"Gross."

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Mobile Operations Stand.

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'