Laughing Doctor Gifts

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

Medical Cabinet

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

Surgery Instructions.

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

The New Age Dentist.

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'I had this two years ago.'

"Do you want to speak to the man in charge or the nurse who knows what's going on?"

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'