Doctor With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

"Man, is that artery clogged or what?"

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"Good. Now start it up again."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"If you phone me, your chances of getting a return call are only one in ten."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

'Take that back! - Gynecologists aren't EITHER sissies!'

Well, the MRI confirms it: You have a shy bladder.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

World Cup Fever

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

'Hold it!'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."