Doctor With A Sense Of Irony Gifts

"This is Dr. Frogwart, he'll be advising you ironically about your need to lose weight."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Hotel mini-bar.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

'I had this two years ago.'

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"I think we have an ant problem"

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

I'm sorry, but Mr. Peters isn't seeing anyone today. He's busy maintaining his deniability.

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'Spin GP'

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

'They don't have any side effects, nor any other effect whatsoever!'