Medical Irony Lover Gifts

'I really hate going to hospital.' 'I know. It's unfortunate you're a neurosurgeon.'

Now roll over onto your front and regret never having gone private...

"The doctor will see you sometime before 9 a.m. and 4."

"… All the lab work confirms it — I’m sorry, Mr. Franklin … You’re old."

'The doctor said I've got to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. But he only gave me 5!'

'They don't have any side effects, nor any other effect whatsoever!'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I feel your pain level."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.