Surgeon With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"The amputation went well Mr Jones, but we have one slight hiccup."

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"For goodness sake, lick the thread!"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I had this two years ago.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Plastic surgery is a scream.

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.