Healthcare Professional With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"See what I mean, Doc? My pacemaker needs adjustment. Every time I sneeze, it sets off the sprinkler system."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Happy Birthday to you.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Definitely work-related."

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Transplant delivery

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'Spin GP'

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'