Healthcare Professional With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"See what I mean, Doc? My pacemaker needs adjustment. Every time I sneeze, it sets off the sprinkler system."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Happy Birthday to you.

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Definitely work-related."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

Transplant delivery

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'Spin GP'

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'