Doctor-patient Humor Lover Gifts

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

'Hold it!'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

Surgery Instructions.

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

'I had this two years ago.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

"You have natural causes.''

Ah. I knew you were going to say that. You people are so predictable.

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Have you got any hip-op?'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."