Doctor-patient Humor Lover Gifts

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

Surgery Instructions.

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

'I had this two years ago.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

"You have natural causes.''

'Have you got any hip-op?'

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

Nurse about surgeon juggling organs: 'I think Dr. Haywood could really use a sabbatical.'