Patient With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

The New Age Dentist.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

'Spin GP'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'