Loves Medical Humor Gifts

'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'

"Frank here used to teach high school physiology, so if you value your Zygomatic arch or your Alveolar margins, you'll start talking."

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

'His heart was tragically deformed.'

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"It's just a dumb joke we haul out whenever we have a patient named Mike."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"Gross."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Time for your pills.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'