Loves Medical Humor Pillows

'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'

"Frank here used to teach high school physiology, so if you value your Zygomatic arch or your Alveolar margins, you'll start talking."

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

'His heart was tragically deformed.'

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"It's just a dumb joke we haul out whenever we have a patient named Mike."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Time for your pills.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Long shift?'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

"Gross."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"Turn your head and cough."