Medical Humor Lover Gifts

'While you may not be as comfortable with a female doctor, on the plus side, my hands are smaller.'

"Have you been suffering consternation?"

I'm having trouble breathing.

'M.R.S.A'

'In my opinion your blurred vision is caused by the axe in your head. But you may want a second opinion.'

'It's a no-brainer.'

'The bad news is, there is no cure for the common cold. The good news is, I think you have pneumonia.'

"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"

'Here's a copy of our new triage plan...the order is now walking wounded first, the dying and dead second, lawyers last...'

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

'So the epithelial cells recovered by the fiberoptic branschoscopy suggests....'

'Did you cut your lip shaving or is the bandage across your mouth evidence you want to listen to me?'

"Rush this patient to the maternity ward! She's about to deliver a baby!"

Sports Medicine - Doctor has Giant Foam Finger.

'I told you he had high blood pressure!'

'Hi, I'll be performing your surgery tomorrow.'

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

'Oh, man - how many times have I told you? Measure twice, cut once.'

'So the good news is the operation was a total success. Bad news. . . we were out of hooks.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

'Open wide...say aargh!'

Blood Peer Pressure.

"I'd like a joint replacement"

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'The upside of this drug is you'll live longer. The downside is that you'll live in poverty.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Curing Hemorrhoids Seminar

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

Surgical Ward- Please Replace Divots

'My turn! My turn!'

'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'

'It's nothing to lose any sleep over. You just have insomnia.

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

Golfer at chiroprator.