Medical Humor Lovers Gifts

"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."

"It's always best to start with a low dose and closely monitor the results."

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

Emergency Room: 'She can't get her bike shorts off!'

'I thought you were supposed to do no harm!'

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

Cosmetic surgery bin: 'Bits & Boobs'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'Lobster fork.'

Scary surgery

Exploratory Surgery.

"It certainly looks like an empty bed. We'll need a second opinion."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"I'm here about my grandson who swallowed the coins!"

When Surgeons Work At Home

"Lately I've been having to get up in the middle of the night to flush."

A doctor disintegrates a patient's leg with a reflex hammer

"You wouldn't ask that if you knew how much golf clubs fees are these days!"

'Are you taking a calcium supplement?'

Plastic surgeon has sign, 'What goes up, must come down.'

'It appears that the former owners of this scalp had alopecia areta.'

'Talk about temperamental. All I did was suggest he try vinegar and brown paper.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent 11 years studying medicine when your research online seems to have identified your condition...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

'How long has it been this way?'

'Take two tablets three times a day, before what used to be breakfast, lunch and dinner.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Ice Cream Surgeon

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

PSA Banter.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'