Medical Humor Admirer Gifts

'I do have a mask on.'

'Showing Mr. Smith his gall stones in a specimen jar would have sufficed nurse!'

"So, you think clowns are stupid? How about pediatricians, … Do you think they're stupid too?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Happy Birthday to you.

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I think it stopped breathing."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Time for your pills.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'