Mirthful Medic Gifts

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Moo-Magrams Exams

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

"It's inoperable and perennial."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"When they develop their own gravitational field it's a clear warning sign of getting type 2 diabetes."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

"You have natural causes.''

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'I'll take #1.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."