Lighthearted Medic Gifts

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

I prefer to organize my pills by side effects

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"It's cooties."

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.