Light-hearted Healthcare Specialist Gifts

Gall Stones Specialist: 'This too shall Pass!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

Transplant delivery

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'I'm working through some anger issues.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'Spin GP'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."