Lover Of Lighthearted Healthcare Gifts

'I like the private room but not the public gown.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"I stand corrected."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'You need some stress.'

Healthy Eating Casualties

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Flu Drugs.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

Death Waits Behind the Doctor.

Patient can't find help at doctor office window because of awards.

"Are you sure you're here about your throat?"

'I'm referring you to a specialist.'

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"We've stopped arm wrestling in case we needed an ambulance."

'Have you got any hip-op?'