Lighthearted Medical Worker Gifts

'Be careful when you inject him, the frowny face means he's a biter.'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'I'm leaving early cos I didn't come in so late'

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

...The decimal point was in the wrong place.

'Very funny!'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

Gall Stones Specialist: 'This too shall Pass!'

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

"Mildly invasive. At most we'll be using a comb."

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"