Healthcare Worker Appreciating Humor Gifts

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

"I stand corrected."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Healthy Eating Casualties

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

Transplant delivery

Nurse cautioning a patient

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

Plastic Surgery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Could you turn up the volume a little?'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

"Just relax and hold still."

Pope fed by nasal tub.

'Scratch yourself a couple of times and call me in the morning.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'I can't fill this prescription. Your doctor forgot to write, pretty please.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."