Healthcare Worker Humor Gifts

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

Just Browsing.

Patient in Straightjacket, "He gets tired and irritable after several hours in the waiting room, Doctor."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'Police complaints' "I've got measles"

'Frankly, I don't think you have time to get a second opinion.'

'Next time I suggest your doctor prints it!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Happy Birthday to you.

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'You need some stress.'

Flu Drugs.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"