Healthcare Worker Jokester Gifts

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Just Browsing.

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

'No! Not the second pair of gloves...'

"Open mike night"

Plastic Surgery

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'The doctor will see you shortly. Try not to disappoint him.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'